Congratulations University of Kentucky. You won a basketball game. I’m sure this win will now assure all people enough to eat, freedom from want, good heath, long life and happiness. I’m also sure that with this win the world will be changed from it’s lost and fallen state and will become a veritable Heaven on earth.
I’m also sure that your parents (some of whom pay for your opportunity to act like barbarians) are so very proud of you. Destroying other peoples things is always the most appropriate way to express your elation over some trivial endeavor. In a life filled with “participation” trophies having something you’re even peripherally attached to be successful is almost too much to handle. Your professors and the leaders of your institution of higher learning are standing quietly to the side wondering how it is possible that these “people” could have been the results of their educational expertise. (Of course they could be wondering when they’ll be the next group thrown on your “bonfire of happiness” and if I were them I’d slip quietly away to an undisclosed location to live out my life in obscurity).
It’s good to see that something arouses this kind of emotion in you. Your rights are being syphoned off while you watch, the debt of not just your school loans but of everything else will insure that you and your children and your children’s children will never again see a balanced life. You will work for the rest of your lives as will they, to pay for the mess radicals, liberals, and freeloaders have placed us. But it’s all OK because your basketball team, made up of people who would have never seen the inside of a university if they didn’t know how to dribble, dunk, guard and free throw, won one lousy game.
Allow me some questions. Are the people on this team real students? Do they take real classes instead of underwater basket weaving and interpersonal sexual relations? Do they have to retain a grade point average? Of more than 1.75? Can anyone of them speak the kings english, make a comment that people in Boise would understand, and or avoid the word “you know” “like” “man” or “dude” in their speech patterns? Do any of them have an interest in anything outside of basketball, groupies and the NBA? I’m sure you won’t understand this but back in the day, students who played sports were held to a higher standard than the rest of the student body. They had to be able to not just maintain their average but play well. Gone are those days, for sure. But why should game players be held at a higher level than students, especially since the average student is just barely passing. (and yes I finished my degree in 2004, I do know what I’m talking about). College for most is about fun, fun, fun.
So congratulations for your win. If I were a contributor of your university I would find another institution to grant my money too, maybe the zoo. At least when the animals there went on a rampage I’d not be surprised. The ringleaders could be rounded up and shipped back into the wild, where it would be up to the law of the wild what happens to them. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath of their destruction. Too bad they can’t find some of you from the pictures some of your friends took with their expensive phones. A couple of years in jail, cleaning up the mess with a paper towel and a tooth brush might actually make something out of you.
Don’t worry Mommy and Daddy nothing will happen, just like it hasn’t before. Thanks for that as well.